Where the hell have I been?

So as I said above, it’s been about 10 years since my last, award winning (well I liked it), endlessly fascinating (to me) and era defining (in the sense it was grumpy and sad like most of my eras) blog went offline. People wept, governments fell, there were protests and a couple of wars that I suspect were linked to me deleting it from t’internet.

Now, I am aware that about 3 people read it, mostly out of politeness. But to those imaginary people wondering what I’ve been up to, here is an answer.

In the intervening 10 years my children all grew up, my chins expanded and I moved house. I had 5 different jobs, though 2 of those were at the same place. 2 of those jobs were awful - one was soul crushing and confidence destroying, the other was so weird and cultish that in driving in some days I expected to see a bunch of management types dancing in the field around a burning wicker man. Luckily, neither of those jobs are my current one. 

My love life has continued to be non existent despite much time wasted on the various money grabbing dating apps that litter the App Store. I have, rarely, been on dates, sometimes managing to fool the poor woman I met into a second, third and in one painful (for her) occasion, a fourth date. Most were just the one date, usually their decision. One in particular I really liked and was really hopeful, but I could tell in the first 10 minutes it was one-sided, and before the hour was out, she was honest, said “get lost you massive turd” (she may not have put it quite like that), and left. Naturally I was gutted and despite begging, never heard from her again.

I’ve taken up going to gigs again, and in recent years seen The The (pretty good), Pulp (amazing), Belle and Sebastian (incredible) and Pixies (sounded great but they seemed disinterested). Most of the bands I want to see are long gone, and I struggle to find anyone new to like as I like to be as difficult as possible.

Twin Peaks returned, which I never thought possible and ended on another cliff hanger that will never be resolved, unless I bump into David Lynch in heaven and ask him about it, though I suspect I wouldn’t understand the answer he gave.

Mark and Lard also returned, which made me happier than it probably should have, though sadly no new radio show or even podcast.

I did travel. Took the kids to Spain a few times, and then we went to New York twice which was pretty fantastic where we did the full on tourist experience. I’d love to go back but the kids are a bit bored of it now, so will have to find another part of the USA to visit. Vegas maybe, so I can visit where I got married and see if the curse it left lingered.

The 10 years seem to have flown by and reflecting on it, not a lot really happened. Or rather, I didn’t do a lot whilst things happened around me. Lost my mind a few times, managed to locate it again, though it seemed a bit more damaged each time. But I gave it a clean and it seemed to work almost as well as it did.

I have no idea what this blog is going to be about, but I was encouraged to start it up again and I have. I am sure I will find something to waffle about which no one in their right mind will ever read. I also need to learn how to use it better, so it may look totally different in a weeks time.

Still, mustn’t grumble eh?